Growing up is naming your community as a gift
“To name the world as gift is to feel your membership in the web of reciprocity. It makes you happy — and it makes you accountable. Conceiving of something as a gift changes your relationship to it in a profound way, even though the physical makeup of the “thing” has not changed”
I was 32 the first time I truly saw, and subsequently treated, my neighborhood as a gift. By that time, I had lived on a suburban cul-de-sac, in the center of multiple big cities, in a decidedly small town, and many other “in-between” locales. Each one of those neighborhoods had brilliant potential to be viewed as a gift, but immaturity (and maybe capitalism) blinded me. They were just…. places.
What changed that?
Transit, few creatives I never met, and a Vietnam vet.
I lived in a neighborhood of Philadelphia, mostly comprised of rowhomes, where I regularly walked or biked to the corner pub, coffee shop, and gym. The apartment was near a running trail and a few bus lines. We moved there precisely because of that access – we had no car, so location was more important than the actual unit (which happened to be old and fairly dark).
Being on the street multiple times a day allowed me to see things that I otherwise might have missed -
A side street I had no business driving on was home to two artists – one with an affinity for chalking larger-than-life cartoons on the pavement and another with a passion for mandalas and suspended life-size figures.
A cracked sidewalk was kintsugi-ed into a beautiful flower by a generous mosaic maker.
An elderly widower sitting at the curb with a seemingly endless supply of dog treats for my less-than-well-behaved mutt, who always got extra. (Much to the delight of passersby.)
A yarn bomber silently hung crocheted hearts at Valentines Day and decorated the wall of the local Ukrainian club in yellow and blue solidarity.
The tiniest pocket park I’d ever seen was maintained by a Vietnam vet to whom I reintroduced myself to countless times.
I didn’t even realize it, but these sometimes nameless neighbors transformed our streets from simply infrastructure that we used to a gift we received.
If I could go back to all the previous Shannons in all the other communities I’ve lived in, I’d tell her not to wait for generous neighbors to show her what a gift that community is. I’ve moved twice since that original neighborhood and have settled in a place we hope to call home for a while. This time though, I’m starting out with the goal of contributing to that web of reciprocity.
Thanks for reading,
Shannon
